I kinda wish/kinda don’t wish that we had video of last night. Of Chad the fish. I would love to show you with pictures, instead of just words, his heroic behavior. But at the same time I am 100% sure that not only would PETA be at our door, but so would child protective services to issue some sort of mandate to never bring human babies into this home.
Last night the live in was kindly changing Chad’s water. A chore that I don’t (surprise, surprise) partake in. He had cleaned the rocks, cleaned the sea glass, cleaned the bowl, filled it back up with fresh water, and was ready to transfer Chad from his holding tank (fyi - a drinking glass for all of our past and future dinner guests) back into this regular bowl.
However, during the transfer, Chad decides to go rogue. Just as the live in was pouring him back in, he literally jumped out. And on to the counter.
And from here…mass chaos and pandemonium ensues.
Chad is flopping in place on the counter for a few seconds before he goes still. During this time the live in is frantically trying to find the net for him. Why he didn’t just use his hands to scoop him up was beyond me…but apparently the live in had a method…which I’ll get to later.
There was a great deal of screaming, and yelling, and running in place by both of us.
And then a few seconds later Chad decides to make another bold move. He made one huge flop off the counter and onto the floor. A jump that in some countries would make him Olympic bound.
Again, mass chaos and pandemonium ensues. This time of the Justin Bieber variety. Scream tears, shouting, tons of running in place.
Chad was pretty easy to pick up with the net at this point, what with him knocking himself out and all. Once he was put back in his tank he just sank. It was very dramatic. But after a few seconds (and a lot of cheering for recovery on our part) he slowly started to breathe again. And after several more seconds (and more insane cheering) he slowly started to swim around. And I am happy to say that a day later he is back to his regular old self.
So, why didn’t the live in just use his hands to grab him? Because, according to him, “the oils from my hands would kill him”. Really?! And a four-foot plummet onto hardwood isn’t going to. He went on to explain that this is precisely how even catch and release fish are killed – from the oils on your hands. I asked how he knew all of this brainy info. Well, because, “I’m a fisherman” he bluntly said. Hmm. Really. Again, I ask, when was the last time you went fishing? He didn’t have an answer to that one…
But apparently it’s going to take a lot more than just wild “parenting” to phase Chad. And for that, we are very grateful. Now if only Chad the boy could bring his football career back to life as well…
