Glam Shots

Before we start…I have to disclose something {remember, I have that disorder that causes me to share meaningless details}. My co-worker is my acting DJ and regularly supplies me with new CD’s for my listening enjoyment / education. We’ve covered such topics as the difference between Sting and The Police, greatest rock bands of the 80’s, and so on. Today I shared that I had never heard a Justin Bieber song. Within minutes he had a CD made for me and…this is the full disclose part…the CD is currently on full blast as I write this post. I feel like I’m in a Disney after school special.

Alright, back to my late 20’s and my live in…

The guy has been driving me crazy lately. About a month ago he let me know that his office had hired a photographer to take professional head shots of him and his co-workers. AKA glam shots.

Obviously, the live in is not shy in front of a camera and regularly seeks special attention so this event had been circled on his calendar for weeks. Several days before the glam shots he started to quiz me. Should I get a hair cut? Should I shave? When should I shave? How should I smile? Should I pose? I answered his questions the best I could, and truly tried to seem interested. However, the day of the glam shot he was out of control. Acting like a male super-model. Demanding outfit advice and requiring some side coaching on how to smile while still keeping your eyes open.

I left for work and at the end of the day returned home to find the bathroom of a teenage girl. Turns out he had come back home mid-day to take a shower and “freshen up” before the glam shots. He’d also been asked to retrieve several outfits for the glam shots; you know to mix things up a bit. Please keep in mind that we are talking about suits here, people. And these were head shots for a bank. Total nerd stuff, and not exactly Esquire.

When he returned home my first question to him was this… “Did you go spay tanning?” I kid you not, he looked like he did. But, that look was carefully achieved by layers and layers of makeup applied before the glam shots by their makeup person. For the 30-45 seconds that followed he went on about “his makeup artist” and how she told him he needs eyeliner to open up his eyes because they are just so stunning. I quickly shut this down.

Fast-forward two weeks later. The office received some of the photos back from the photographer and oh the furry of the live in on that poor photographer. The photos were terrible of everyone, and clearly the guy makes his living by dealing drugs or delivering newspapers because his photos were b-a-d. But, at the end of the day the photos will be used in banking publications and not framed above our fireplace so what’s the big deal really?

The live in thought differently, however, and has now taken creative liberties and is directing the photographer on re-cropping, and editing to enhance his photos. I think he’s finally selected a photo, but if I get sent another copy to look at I am going to block him from my email account.

As for Justin Bieber, maybe if I was 15…

Happy Good Friday, and happy Easter weekend.