Isn't He Lovely?

I don’t subscribe to gossip or beauty magazines. I don’t wear foundation. I believe boys should be raised with equal parts sports to equal parts arts. I believe girls should be raised to understand the magic of airbrushing.

So how, my friends, did I end up with my live in?

Last night we made like a meth head and crossed state line for some real Claritin. (In Oregon we grow meth heads like Idaho grows potatoes so they have taken Claritin, Sudafed, etc. off the shelves and now require a prescription. But just 20 minutes away in Washington a valid driver’s license will get you a box of the good stuff, no prescription needed.) While we were in Target the live in spotted his favorite aisle…health and beauty. His eyes widened, and I could start see him recall all of the product he “must have.”

This only irritated me. I was already tired, it was late, and we were in Vancouver. Three strikes. I turned up the red-headed rage and insisted he cut the browsing to a minimum, all while he is explaining his need for deep cleansing shampoo. Say what live in? Here’s what you are going to do…go to Costco, buy a bottle of bulk shampoo and never look back. I was mad. The boy already out numbers me in ownership of product 3 to 1.

Today my anger toward the health and beauty aisle has subsided, but I still needed clarification on this. However, before I even asked the question I should have known the answer. It’s always the answer. It’s Esquire. Esquire is the root of all my problems. Esquire is filling my poor live in’s head with ideas of deep cleansing shampoo, bomber jackets, and “a travel bag for success.” The ironic part is, apparently Esquire is recommending a deep cleansing shampoo to rid your man of all the daily product in his hair. Seems like less product is actually the answer here…

I don’t know how I ended up with him, but he certainly keeps it fun. Product and all.