Three Simple Rules

Loft life isn’t always fun and games. We do have rules. Well, not necessarily “we”, but “I”. Although my live in husband would probably disagree, the number of actual rules is very small. And the more I think about this, I wouldn’t necessarily label these are “rules” but more as “marriage models”…just like a company has a business model – we have a marriage model. Sounds so much better now – see, by the swap of a few words I have now become the poster child for Family Circle Magazine.

Lots of the models are centered around the TV…here are some of them:

• The TV must be turned off during dinner. Statistics don’t show “the family who eats together while watching TV stays together”…
• 10 minutes of News viewing allowed per day (since the News is the anti-Christ). If he pushes it to 11 minutes the TV gets turned off…if he turns it back on and pushes it to 12 minutes the TV gets unplugged.
• No watching Extreme Cage Fighting! It fosters behavior that isn’t healthy for any relationship. You will see why…
  

The live in broke the third cardinal model last night. He tried to sneak it while I was getting ready for bed…but, when I came out of the bathroom to find him “air punching” in the living room with the Cage Fighting on in the background he was pretty much busted. He quickly claimed he was actually “dancing”, and then reenacted the dance for me as if to prove himself. Picture this. Clearly not buying this I went for the power button on the TV, while he screamed “I am going to come at you like a spider monkey, women”…and he did. However, I am faster, younger, smaller, and have more rage behind me. He was no match – the TV got turned off.

Stick to the models live in, stick to the models. No one wants to see you get hurt.